Write a complete first draft of our Level 2 History internal assessment — introduction, three PEE paragraphs, and an Excellence conclusion — and identify specific improvements using peer feedback.
- A Write a complete draft — all five sections — that is at least 500 words.
- A Name all three groups specifically in my essay and state what each believed.
- M Include at least one "because" explanation per PEE paragraph that connects to context, values, or identity.
- M Cite at least one specific source per perspective paragraph (author/creator, date, what it said).
- E WHAKAHŌHONU: Write an Excellence conclusion that analyses the irreconcilability of perspectives — naming the core value clash, not just describing that disagreement existed.
Lesson 9: Tuhituhi Tuatahi — Writing Workshop 1
First draft. Full essay. No shortcuts.
Ngā rauemi — Bring to this lesson:
📋 Your completed Essay Outline (signed off in Lesson 8) 📄 PEE Graphic Organiser 📝 Peer Feedback Form (new, print 1 per student)Whakatūwhera — Whakaaro / Opening 3 min
Nine lessons of preparation. Today you write. The skill you have been building since Lesson 1 — naming perspectives, finding evidence, explaining why — comes together now in a single piece of sustained writing.
This is a draft. A draft is not a finished assessment — it is the first full version, which you improve in Lesson 10. Drafts are allowed to have rough edges. What they are not allowed to have is gaps. Write the whole essay. Every section. Even the parts you are uncertain about. Gaps cannot be improved. Rough edges can.
"Ehara taku toa i te toa takitahi, engari he toa takitini."
My strength is not that of a single warrior — it is the strength of many. Your plan is the result of many lessons. Now write from that strength.
1Arotahi — Plan Review 7 min
Teacher returns Lesson 8 plans with written feedback. Students read their feedback and do three things before writing begins:
- Underline the teacher's most important comment (the one that will most improve the essay).
- Check: do you have a specific, citable source for each of your three perspective paragraphs? If not, identify the gap now — you cannot fill it during writing time.
- Re-read your Excellence conclusion plan. Can you articulate the core value clash in one sentence? Say it aloud to yourself. If you can't say it, you can't write it.
2Wā Tuhituhi — Writing Time 55 min
Write your complete first draft. Use your Essay Outline as a guide — but you are not copying it. You are turning bullet-pointed plans into full, connected prose.
- Stuck on a paragraph — go to the next one and come back. Do not spend 10 minutes on one sentence.
- Can't remember your source — write "[SOURCE — find citation tonight]" and keep writing. Do not stop to search.
- Can't write the conclusion — skip it for now. Write the body paragraphs first. The conclusion often becomes clearer once you have written the three perspectives out in full.
Teacher circulates during this time — ask individual students: "Which sentence are you most proud of so far?" This builds confidence and helps students identify their strongest writing.
3Aromatawai ā-hoa — Peer Feedback 18 min
Swap drafts with a partner you have not worked with in Lesson 7 or 8. Read their entire draft (10 min), then complete the Peer Feedback Form (8 min).
Peer Feedback Framework — for each section:
- Are three distinct groups named? Yes / No
- Is there a thesis statement — a claim about why perspectives were irreconcilable? Yes / Partial / No
- One suggestion to strengthen the introduction:
- For each paragraph: is there a specific, citable source? (Not "historians say" — who, when, what?) P1: Yes/No · P2: Yes/No · P3: Yes/No
- For each paragraph: does the explanation use "because" (or equivalent) to explain WHY? P1: Yes/No · P2: Yes/No · P3: Yes/No
- The strongest explanation paragraph is [P1/P2/P3] because:
- The weakest explanation needs more [evidence / because / context link]:
- Does the conclusion analyse (explain why irreconcilable) OR summarise (repeat what was already said)? Analyses / Summarises / Missing
- Is there a significance claim — why does this event matter for Aotearoa? Yes / No
- One suggestion for the conclusion:
- The one sentence in this essay that best demonstrates historical understanding is: [copy the sentence]
- The single most important improvement for Lesson 10 is:
Aromatawai — Exit 5 min
One Priority for Lesson 10
On a sticky note: write the single most important improvement you will make in Lesson 10. Be specific — not "make it better" but "add the source citation for Group 2" or "rewrite the conclusion to name the value clash instead of summarising."
Stick this note to the top of your draft. Bring both to Lesson 10.
He kitenga — What to Watch For
- Students who have not finished the draft: They write the remaining sections for homework tonight. Incomplete draft = limited improvement time in Lesson 10.
- Students whose conclusions only summarise: This is the most common Excellence gap. Point to the Lesson 8 exemplar and ask: "Does your conclusion explain why they disagreed on a fundamental level, or does it just say they disagreed?"
- Students who are writing above the line: Affirm the specific sentences that demonstrate Merit or Excellence thinking. Naming it helps them reproduce it.
Whakaaroaro Akoranga — Differentiation
🔵 Tautoko — Support
- Allow students to write from a shared event (Springbok Tour or Dawn Raids) so they can use the class sources from Lessons 5–6 directly.
- Provide a sentence starter sheet for the writing session: first sentence of the introduction, transition phrases between paragraphs, and the Excellence conclusion opener.
- Reduce the requirement: if a student is overwhelmed, focus on getting one complete PEE paragraph written well, rather than a partial essay written poorly.
- Conference (5 min, 1:1) with students who have not started after 10 minutes. Sometimes writing anxiety is the barrier, not knowledge — address it directly.
🟣 Whakahōhonu — Extension
- Students who finish the draft early: add a fourth paragraph — the "Ngā Reo Kore" (Silenced Voices) paragraph. Which group's perspective is almost entirely absent from the historical record? What can you infer about their experience?
- Write a second version of the conclusion — one that focuses on significance for contemporary Aotearoa. How does this event still matter today?
- Evaluate your own essay against the Level 2 History achievement standard. Annotate each paragraph with the grade level it currently demonstrates.
🏫 He Kōrero mā te Kaiako — Teacher Notes
The 55-minute writing block is the most valuable time in the unit. Minimise interruptions. Do not run whole-class discussions during this time. Circulate quietly, reading over shoulders and asking quiet individual questions. If a student is stuck, give a targeted verbal prompt and move on — do not stop to give a mini-lesson to the whole class.
When circulating, ask: "What's the group's name?" (checks specificity), "What does 'because' connect to in this sentence?" (checks depth), "Why were they irreconcilable?" (checks Excellence thinking). These three questions diagnose most issues quickly. Write a note for yourself about which students need targeted feedback at the start of Lesson 10.
Model what good peer feedback looks like before students swap drafts. Show one example of vague feedback ("This is good, maybe add more detail") versus specific feedback ("Your source for Group 2 needs an author name and date — 'historians say' is not citable"). The Peer Feedback Form structures this, but students may need a brief modelling moment before they use it.
Hononga Whānau — Whānau Connection
Tonight's task: If your draft is incomplete, finish it tonight (max 1 hour). Bring a complete draft to Lesson 10 — every section, even if rough. Also: if you identified a missing source during the peer feedback, find it tonight. Papers Past, NZ History, or Te Ara. One citation. Write it on a sticky note and attach it to your draft where the gap is.
Lesson 10: Tuhituhi Tuarua + Tuku — Writing 2 and Submission
Bring your complete draft, your peer feedback form, and your sticky note priority. Lesson 10 is your final revision session — act on feedback, polish the conclusion, and submit.
Go to Lesson 10 →Curriculum alignment
NZC 2007 · Social Sciences · Level 6 · History
Understand how people’s perspectives on past events that are of significance to New Zealanders differ.
This lesson is where that understanding becomes sustained written argument: three perspectives, each with evidence and a “because”, and an Excellence conclusion that names the value clash rather than restating the disagreement.
Why NZC 2007 and not Te Mātaiaho: the live Te Mātaiaho corpus ends at Phase 4 (Years 9–10) and carries no Social Sciences content above that phase, so a Year 12 standard cannot be anchored to it. Senior units anchor to The New Zealand Curriculum (2007), Levels 6–8, together with the NZQA achievement standard. The full mapping is on this unit’s curriculum alignment page. Note added 2026-08-23 to match the correction already carried on the canonical route.
📋 Teacher Planning Snapshot
Ngā Whāinga Ako — Learning Intentions
Students write the first full draft of their essay and give a peer structured feedback against the Achieved, Merit and Excellence criteria.
Ngā Paearu Angitū — Success Criteria
- ✅ Students can produce a complete draft — introduction, three perspective paragraphs and a conclusion.
- ✅ Students can grade a peer's paragraph as A, M or E and say which sentence earned that grade.
- ✅ Students can name the single highest-priority change to make before Lesson 10.
Differentiation & Inclusion
Scaffold support: The self-check criteria sheet is meant to sit on the desk during the 55-minute writing block, not to be handed out at the end. Students who have not finished draft the remaining sections that night, or Lesson 10 has nothing to improve. Extend by naming the specific sentence that shows Excellence — students reproduce what they can see.
ELL / ESOL: The self-check sheet carries sentence starters. Point ākonga to them at the start of the block rather than after they stall, and allow oral rehearsal of a paragraph before it is written.
Inclusion: Fifty-five minutes of continuous writing is a real access barrier. Split it with a two-minute stand-up at the halfway point, and allow typing, dictation or handwriting equally.
Mātauranga Māori: The most common Excellence gap here is a conclusion that summarises rather than explains. Where the essay's third perspective is a Māori or Pasifika one, that gap usually shows as the clash being described as a disagreement about tactics rather than about authority — push for the deeper claim.
Prior knowledge: Lesson 8 — a signed-off essay plan with evidence attached. Students writing without a plan will produce narrative rather than argument.
Curriculum alignment
- NCEA Level 2 History · (5 credits): “Interpret different perspectives of people in an historical event that is of significance to New Zealanders”